Sexual Deviations

 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (Mt 7:1-5)

Let me begin on this topic of same sex relationships by naming the sin the church must face when reacting to this topic: homophobia.

Homophobia doesn’t mean the church is afraid of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals or transgendered persons.  It does mean we have prejudice driving much of our rhetoric and decisions.  Because we do not understand the differences between what we consider normal and what we judge to be abnormal, there is often a feeling of confusion, discomfort and in sad cases… hatred, loathing, and disgust.

Until we admit to ourselves that the reason this question has been a fiery part of the conversation on church conference agendas for the last 40 years is because of our feelings around the topic, we are less likely to hear God or clearly real the scriptures.  Let’s make a choice to repent of our judging and our prejudice in order to begin afresh on this topic.

The United Methodist Church says in our book of discipline…

¶ 161 F) Human Sexuality—We affirm that sexuality is God’s good gift to all persons. We call everyone to responsible stewardship of this sacred gift.

Although all persons are sexual beings whether or not they are married, sexual relations are affirmed only with the covenant of monogamous, heterosexual marriage.

We deplore all forms of the commercialization, abuse, and exploitation of sex. We call for strict global enforcement of laws prohibiting the sexual exploitation of children and for adequate protection, guidance, and counseling for abused children.

All persons, regardless of age, gender, marital status, or sexual orientation, are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured and to be protected against violence. The Church should support the family in providing age-appropriate education regarding sexuality to children, youth, and adults.

We affirm that all persons are individuals of sacred worth, created in the image of God. All persons need the ministry of the Church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship that enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self.

The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching. We affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We will seek to live together in Christian community, welcoming, forgiving, and loving one another, as Christ has loved and accepted us. We implore families and churches not to reject or condemn lesbian and gay members and friends. We commit ourselves to be in ministry for and with all persons.

From The Book of Discipline of The United Methodist Church - 2008. Copyright 2008 by The United Methodist Publishing House. Used by permission.

To summarize this statement, the UMC’s official position on the matter of homosexuality is that we do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider it incompatible with Christian living.  At the same time we encourage the church to continue to be in ministry to all persons regardless if they are gay or straight, bisexual or transgendered.  All people, no matter what or who they have done, are of sacred worth, loved by God and offered salvation through Christ.  All Christians are called to witness to this mercy and love through Jesus.  No one is to be excluded from the offer.

Think on your own life. You have sinned.  Some of those sins you are ashamed to discuss openly.  God knows every detail AND God is saddened by your sins.  Yet at the same time, Jesus the Son of God, offered up himself on the cross for your salvation.  His death gives you life. That is true if you will trust that God loves you, forgives you, and will transform you into a new person free from sinful passions by equipping you with divine power (i.e. grace).

Now think of your worst habit.  Perhaps it is overeating.  Maybe it’s speeding in your vehicle.  You could be in the habit of thinking poorly of others, judging them in your mind.  There are all kinds of sinful habits we know we should not do, yet we tell ourselves these are minor. We tell ourselves, God will forgive. He does forgive, but does this eliminate our need to repent and lean on God’s grace to liberate us? No, it does not.

As you actually try to change the bad habit to a good one, we may have some success, but then life happens and we fall back into the old habits.  Now imagine yourself born into the world genetically predisposed to your habit, innocent as it may be, you cannot change the fact that you are predisposed to it.  I am genetically predisposed to allergies.  I take Allegra every day to fight the symptoms. Most days it helps, but some days I lose myself in sneezing, coughing, headaches, eyes itching and fatigue. No matter what I do I will always be allergic to pollens and dust until that Day the Lord gives me the resurrection body that doesn’t suffer this fallen mortal state.

  In some cases men so identify with women that they feel they were meant to be one and pursue clothing and physical changes to express their inner identity.   The overwhelming experience of gay men and lesbians is that they would never choose this life.  They wish they could.  Why would anyone want to choose to live a life where they are the target of hate crimes, jokes and prejudice?

Some homosexual were abused as children.  Some of my lesbian friends were abused by their feathers, brothers or uncles and cousins.  Some are rape victims.  To be in an intimate sexual relationship with men is just too torturous for them.  It feels safer to be with a woman.  Some men also have the experience.  In this case they were shaped at a young age toward homosexuality.

I have a friend whose mother abused him emotionally. She combed his hair, caressed him and spoke affectionate words that bordered on the sexual.  She never moved beyond the regular physical contact that let him know she thought he was so beautiful, but that early childhood experience lead him to be confused about his gender.  He is a transvestite.  He was married for over 20 years and raised two girls, but he struggled with alcohol dependency.  He was a man filled with faith and contradiction.

Then there are those who have chosen the lifestyle.  For some, it is an expression of rebellion.  For others it makes sense to them, accepting an outsider counter culture identity.  Or they may choose homosexual experiences as a variation on their sexual diet.  Some approach sex like dining choices.  What am I in the mood for tonight?

The scriptures have two primary places where homosexuality is spoken against. 

Leviticus 18:22

“‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.  (preceded by a law against child sacrifice and followed by a law against sex with animals)

and Romans 1:24-27

²⁴ Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵ They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. ²⁶ Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. ²⁷ In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

There are other lists about who will not enter the kingdom of heaven which include homosexual offenders and male prostitutes. (1Co 6:9)  There is more about the sexually immoral who will not inherit the kingdom. (Ac 15:20, 29; Ro 13:13; Gal 5:19; Eph 5:3, 5; Col 3:5; 1Th 4:3; Ju 1:7; Rev 21:8, 22:15)  Sexual immorality is defined in the sexual behaviors listed in Leviticus 18.  Interestingly the only place lesbianism is even remotely mentioned is in Romans 1:26b.

Both of these passages come in the context of distinguishing the Jewish/Christian community of faith from the pagan/gentile society in which they live and from which at least the gentile converts had come.

Leviticus code is about moral boundaries that set Israel apart as holy unto Yahweh, their God.  Israel is called to be holy as The Lord is holy.  The sexual practices outlawed here are outlawed because they are the practices of the people inhabiting Canaan, the Promised Land.  God finds these sexual behaviors to be unholy and detestable.  God is kicking out the inhabitants of the land and giving it to the Israelites, provided they keep His covenant and do not do as the Canaanites do.

Other restrictions include food, clothing and sacrificial practices.  For instance, the law against wearing mixed textiles is meant to remind the Jews to be one as the Lord is one.   To choose to wear a 100% linen tunic, as opposed to a polyester/cotton blend, is symbolic of the Jew’s desire to live 100% for Yahweh and His law which leads to life.  To do otherwise is death for the Jew.

In the same way, Paul discusses homosexuality in Romans 1 in the context of idol worship.  Idolatry is to worship the created thing rather than the creator.  If the female body becomes our highest sense of beauty, and we are transfixed upon it as it seems to be increasingly so in our society, we may end up behaving in ways that serve the beauty and power, honor and glory we give to the female sex symbol.  Our top superstars are sex symbols.  Our sexy men are pretty boys, more feminine than masculine.  Gone are the days when a John Wayne is the symbol for manhood.  Now it’s flat six packs, pects and dreamy eyes, the very sort of physique a woman would find attractive…and gay men. 

My point is that in some ways femininity has become an idol in print, video and music forms of art and entertainment.  And we all in one form or another bow to this idol in service.  You may doubt me, but how do you respond to ads with attractive women or pretty boys?  Enough of us are taking the bait and buying the products that marketers continue to crank out feminine sexual imagery to create a need in us to buy.

Idolatry is about placing anything in this world or created universe as our highest love.  You may say you love God, but look at how you spend your time and money and you will find what you truly love and serve.

For me it is entertainment.  I spend loads on DVDs, iTunes, CDs, movie rentals, dinners out, theaters, concerts and the like.  I enjoy music and movies most of all.  Movies are a quick trip away from my life into someone else’s.  Music is in my DNA.  I naturally move to it.  I feel more myself with music playing than without it.  I am guilty of this idolatry.

Rather than pray I might find it easier to watch a movie and zone out.  Rather than read the Bible and spend time with God in His word, I might find it more enjoyable to crank the stereo and strut about the living room like Mick Jagger.  These diversions, while mostly harmless, are diverting me away from my true love…God.

As I have previously mentioned, it is very complex as to why men and women end up in homosexuality and other deviations from heterosexuality.   At its foundation, homosexuality is a choice. It is understood as a concession or a believed necessity for an individual to live out his/her life as a sexual being.  It is, like so many other substitutes, a form of idolatry, exchanging the glory of the creator for lesser created things.  

Abstinence feels like prison as it would for most of us.  Some have followed a love for God into celibacy whether heterosexual or not.  But the level of spiritual maturity or asceticism need for this life to be sustainable is for a small select percentage of our world.

I do not believe that this was God’s design or plan for men to be sexually partnered with men or women with women.  We must understand this to be indicative of the fallen world we live in.  There are many things that do not fit the idyllic plan of paradise. 

Joni Mitchel sang, “We got to get ourselves back to the garden.” She is referring to the need we all have for reconciliation with God. For we were meant for a paradise-like relationship with our creator.  We were meant to enjoy His intimate presence. And we got to get it back.

Jesus Christ lived and died and rose again so that each of us, whether gay or straight, would find through Him the way back into paradise.  Knowing the intimacy of the Holy Spirit within will transform us from all manner of idolatry, if we will avail ourselves to His power.